Advice and Articles

  • “How many children do you have”? Am I still a parent?

    Getting the terminology right is like choosing the correct pronouns for someone. We found that answering this question comes up more than you think and until you are comfortable with the answer it brings instant and clattering pain. Our decision was we still have the same amount of children, just because Dan isn’t here doesn’t…

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  • “People Die” and other awful things people say

    Some people say the most wildly inappropriate things, and I choose to believe it isn’t deliberate and they have no idea how painful it is. Don’t get wrong, you may feel like breaking a chair over their head as you sit in the restaurant with a relative you hardly know who, after not saying anything…

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  • Anniversary’s, birthdays and big events

    Possibly the most painful days of the year, the first few times it was like being hit by a truck. Now after a few years, we can see it coming and whilst we don’t get out of the way, we do plan for it. Each September we book a day or two off work and…

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  • Bumping into people – constant reminder

    Until you lose someone you have no idea how many people look like them or know them and seem determined to ask you questions about how they are or declare they haven’t seen them for ages! People you haven’t seen for years seem to pop up everywhere and make a beeline for you ” how…

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  • Dealing with Funeral Directors

    The CO-OP funeral directors were very helpful.  They talked us through everything. There is no charge upfront either.  They meet with you in one of their rooms.  They show you different types of coffins, flowers, hearses, and cars, do you want to help carry the coffin into the church or crematorium? songs for the service. …

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  • Depression

    After any kind of loss, depression is a frequent visitor, however, it does seem that a sudden death and particularly one from suicide opens up the possibility of extreme and sudden bouts of depression. There are no easy answers, but remember this is to be expected and you need to tell people, talk to your…

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