We have been lucky in this way as we both made a point of saying exactly how we feel about what’s happening and leaning on each other when we need support.
However, we have spoken to quite a few couples where one partner is either in denial or is burying it deep down and won’t engage. Often the Father, unfortunately, and leaves the mother in a terrible position, the people we met have turned to support groups ( some years after the event) to have an outlet to talk about what happened and tell their story. This has helped them and we recommend that if you are in the same position to do this, but also to remember that your partner is suffering too in their own way and they too need support, maybe they need to talk but feel they can’t because it may cause you pain. again no easy answers but keep communication open, talk to their friends and family and see if they can give them a space to open up, which in turn will mean they may then engage with you too.