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“How many children do you have”? Am I still a parent?
Getting the terminology right is like choosing the correct pronouns for someone. We found that answering this question comes up more than you think and until you are comfortable with the answer it brings instant and clattering pain. Our decision was we still have the same amount of children, just because Dan isn’t here doesn’t…
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“People Die” and other awful things people say
Some people say the most wildly inappropriate things, and I choose to believe it isn’t deliberate and they have no idea how painful it is. Don’t get wrong, you may feel like breaking a chair over their head as you sit in the restaurant with a relative you hardly know who, after not saying anything…
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Anniversary’s, birthdays and big events
Possibly the most painful days of the year, the first few times it was like being hit by a truck. Now after a few years, we can see it coming and whilst we don’t get out of the way, we do plan for it. Each September we book a day or two off work and…
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Bumping into people – constant reminder
Until you lose someone you have no idea how many people look like them or know them and seem determined to ask you questions about how they are or declare they haven’t seen them for ages! People you haven’t seen for years seem to pop up everywhere and make a beeline for you ” how…
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Dealing with Funeral Directors
The CO-OP funeral directors were very helpful. They talked us through everything. There is no charge upfront either. They meet with you in one of their rooms. They show you different types of coffins, flowers, hearses, and cars, do you want to help carry the coffin into the church or crematorium? songs for the service. …
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Depression
After any kind of loss, depression is a frequent visitor, however, it does seem that a sudden death and particularly one from suicide opens up the possibility of extreme and sudden bouts of depression. There are no easy answers, but remember this is to be expected and you need to tell people, talk to your…
Other Articles
- Happy Birthday DanHappy birthday Dan. I wonder what you would have been doing today? … Read more
- Some days are just bad daysJust feels like I am in some kind of nightmare. The last … Read more
- “People Die” and other awful things people saySome people say the most wildly inappropriate things, and I choose to … Read more
- Step ParentsAs a Step Dad to Dan, I can write this with some … Read more
- Partner wont speak about itWe have been lucky in this way as we both made a … Read more
- People don’t talk about itThe painful truth is that people soon stop talking about the person … Read more
- Obsession with death and fear that others will do the sameIf one person can kill themselves, then another can… that’s the thoughts … Read more
- Siblings and how they handle itLosing a sibling of any age is hard, they were your playmate, … Read more
- “How many children do you have”? Am I still a parent?Getting the terminology right is like choosing the correct pronouns for someone. … Read more
- Anniversary’s, birthdays and big eventsPossibly the most painful days of the year, the first few times … Read more
- Facebook memoriesFacebook is a large part of many people’s lives, and also has … Read more
- Photos and memories4 years after we lost Dan, there are still some photos in … Read more
- Going back to work, or not?This is one of the things you have to face very early … Read more
- DepressionAfter any kind of loss, depression is a frequent visitor, however, it … Read more
- Grief and alcoholLike a lot of people, we drank too much following Dan’s suicide, … Read more
- Their Workplace and colleaguesTelling someone’s workplace what has happened is traumatic but required. They will … Read more
- Good days and Bad daysIt goes without saying that there are good days and bad days, … Read more
- The place it happens and their belongingsDepending on where the suicide took place you may need to deal … Read more
- Bumping into people – constant reminderUntil you lose someone you have no idea how many people look … Read more
- What’s next? and dealing with your loved ones remainsThe funeral is done, people around you are starting to disappear and … Read more
- The Inquest – What to expectA death by suicide generally means an inquest. This is something that … Read more
- How to write a EulogyAt the funeral, it is customary for something to be said about … Read more
- Should I have a Wake?A wake is seen as a little old-fashioned sometimes, but they have … Read more
- Dealing with Funeral DirectorsThe CO-OP funeral directors were very helpful. They talked us through everything. … Read more